Could I be Santa Claus?

when i was on my way to the butchers i looked in the mirror and said to myself "do i like m meat raw ike a man or cooked?" then i saw a roney so i shaved bt it grew back 1 second after.am i santa clause? i also live in the mediteranian ocean and have a pet reindeer-fish called "Goatee". i also have a daughter called Elf....